So it’s been a while since I updated. I figure I should write something down. Some stuff has happened over the past little while, I want to make sure I don’t forget about it.
The past month or so (up until last Wednesday) I had been dealing with acid reflux. Sure, it’s manageable. Rolaids are one of my best friends… but it still sucks. And even more so, it’s been happening every night. Every night without fail at 1228am.
That’s fine and dandy except I am asleep at 1228am. Have you ever felt like you were choking? Try having that feeling at 1228am and it wakes you up because you are choking on the reflux. It’s even more horrible because reflux is basically throw up. And it ends up in the back of your throat, but not so much in your mouth and you end up swallowing it.
Yes, it is THAT gross. And yes, I have to be THAT specific.
So yeah, every night pretty much it was happening. It was getting to the point where my voice was scratchy because I was constantly being almost sick every night. And it would last for 2 hours at least. So I’d lay there in bed, propped up by 3 or 4 pillows and trying to sleep. When you fall asleep sitting up, it’s one thing. When you try to fall asleep sitting up, it’s another. It’s horrible.
I called TLBC and made an appointment for a defill. I was in and out (including parking) in 7 minutes. It took me an hour to get there, and an hour to get home. But 7 minutes in the clinic, the defill, and back out to my car.
I go in, and the nurse asks me how much I want to lose. Do you know that I haven’t been asked that question in almost 4 years!?! Super crazy. I tell her I just want a 1. I was almost a 4. I just want a 1.
Come on now – I’m a big kid. I’m never going to be a low 1. It’s not realistic of me to think that. A 1 would be fine.
Anyway, so I step on her fancy scale where it takes my BMI and my weight. And then I move over to the chair, and she removes 2cc’s of saline. It was like immediate relief. Like the air has just been taken out of a balloon. So good. She tells me that because I have had a slip before, I should have made the appointment for the hospital. She said that she won’t put the fill back in until all of my symptoms have disappeared completely.
This takes us to today. I am loose so I can eat a whole lot more than I could last week. And I am hungry way more than I normally would be. Maybe I wasn’t eating though because it hurt too much to do so? Maybe I knew inside that if I didn’t eat, I would experience the reflux. I know it definitely curbed what I was eating for sure. I thought twice, long and hard, about what I was putting in my mouth and what time it was. The later in the day it was, the less chance I was putting any sort of carb in my mouth. I knew I would experience it later on in the night.
I am self conscious right now about what I eat, when I eat, and how much I eat. Although I know it’s not true, it feels like everyone is watching me, watching what I eat, what time, and everything. It’s weird because I have never felt like this before. Most people experience this when they are first banded. But me – 4 ½ years post surgery – I am now feeling self conscious?
Weird.
Tanya and I went shopping last week – the day of my defill. I picked up shorts, a pair of jeans, and 2 shirts at Old Navy. I always take a long time at ON. I was telling Tanya that I try one thing on, then I end up finding like 3-4 more things that I like after I have already tried things on, so I almost always have to go back. I hate shopping for the most part, so having to go back and try things on again and again… not exactly big time fun. BUT the ON we went to was fairly quiet, and not crowded. It’s nice to shop that way. I’ll take that over a Saturday visit for sure.
